pastrylikewolf

1. Measure around your chest just under the breast and record the measurement in inches. This is your band size. If your number is unworthy of you (or odd), round up.

2. Curse the Gods, wait for a storm and shout your grievances to Odin, the All Father. Prepare your body for glorious combat. 

3. Add 4 inches to the measurement in step 1 if you are weak and you fear battle. Otherwise stand your ground.

4. Gather your dead.

5. Pull the measuring tape taught but comfortably around your breasts. Record this measurement in inches. This is your cup size.

6. We Mourn. 

7. We Mourn.

8. Subtract your band size from your cup size. record the result.

9. They come. You are ready. This moment is yours. This moment is glory.

10. The difference recorded in step 8 tells you, with each increasing inch, whether you are an A,B,C,D,DD,DDD&F,G,H,I, J,K, or AVENGING VALKYRIE cup.

11. We sing the song of our people. We kill. We pillage. We are happy to die in this moment, for we know that which we live for. Deal with Loki if you are quick of wit, else pray that your deeds are worthy of Valhalla.